From isolation to advocacy: My journey as a young carer

Written by Rumaysa on

Hey! I’m Rumaysa, a 15-year-old young carer for two of my older siblings.

I wanted to share my story for Carers Rights Day this November, to show how important it is for young carers like me to get the right support.

The Hidden Role of a Young Carer

Before I joined Sense, I didn’t even know what a young carer was – or that I was one! Now that I’ve been part of Sense’s Siblings and Young Carers Service for a while, I’ve realised how much it means and how big a role I actually play in my family.

I live with my mum and dad, and I have two brothers and one sister. My 18-year-old brother and my 20-year-old sister both have autism.

The way I support them changes all the time. I call my sister every day to check in and be there for her emotionally. This summer, we spent almost every day together – we have such a close bond and always make each other laugh. Even when we’re apart, we still find ways to stay connected – we love watching shows together on a Netflix watch party, which is our little way of hanging out even when we’re not in the same place.

My brother still lives at home, and I try to make sure he feels understood and included. We talk about things he enjoys, like gaming and cooking. When I show interest in what he loves, it makes him really happy! Sometimes he asks me for help, and other times he helps me – it’s our little way of spending time together.

When we were younger, I’d help them with chores or anything they found difficult, even though I was the youngest. Now I have more responsibilities – helping my sister with deadlines, running errands, supporting my mum around the house, and just trying to make life a bit easier for everyone.

The Challenges of Being a Young Carer

Before I started getting support, it was really hard to balance everything. I’d come home from school, help around the house, and by the end of the day, I’d feel exhausted – like I hadn’t done enough for anyone, including myself.

Even though I love my family so much, it sometimes felt like I had to grow up faster than everyone else.

Three siblings stood in a line, all smiling widely. The two girls on the left are in blue dresses and the boy is wearing a chequered shirt.
Rumaysa and her siblings, when they were much younger.

I didn’t have much time for my hobbies or to simply relax and my friends didn’t always understand why I couldn’t hang out after school or go to events. Basically, I would say no a lot, and after a while, I started to feel left out.

It could also be difficult for me to focus at school when I was worried about things back home. I remember feeling stressed or distracted, but I didn’t always tell teachers why as I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

There were days when I felt a bit isolated, like no one around me really understood what it’s like to care for siblings with additional needs.

From Isolation to Friendship

Joining Sense completely changed that. It made me realise I’m not alone.

Rumaysa and clementine are stood side by side, smiling at the camera. They are both sodden after jumping in the river behind them.
Rumaysa and friend Clemency photographed at one of our Sibling residentials

I’ve been part of the self-care sessions like Snack and Chat, Pamper, and Wellbeing Safe Space. These sessions give me time to just sit in my room, away from the chaos of daily life, and actually focus on myself for a bit.

Before, I always put my loved ones first, but these sessions reminded me that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s helped me learn to relax and recharge.

And it’s not just about relaxing – Sense also runs the most amazing activities! I’ve had so much fun doing things like laser tag, Bear Grylls adventures, rock climbing, and even going on a residential camp. Those experiences gave me a break from everyday responsibilities and helped me make new memories with people who really understand what life is like as a young carer.

I also met other young carers who really get it. We share similar experiences and can talk about things that other people might not understand. It’s amazing to make new friends who have the same interests and to see familiar faces every session. It honestly makes me feel part of something special.

Turning My Experience Into Education

One day at school, I told the Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator (SENCO) that I was a young carer and explained the kind of support I get from Sense. They were so interested that they asked me to help deliver an assembly about young carers to raise awareness.

It was such a proud moment for me! After the assembly, some of my friends and even people from other classes came up to ask questions. They wanted to know more about what being a young carer means. It felt really good to help others understand and maybe recognise young carers in their own lives too.

Young Carers – Let’s Advocate Together

The theme for this year’s Carers Rights Day is “Know your rights, use your rights.”

I believe all young carers should have access to support – whether that’s therapy, someone to talk to, or safe spaces where they can share their experiences and join in fun activities.  It makes such a difference to know that you’re heard and understood.