Express Yourself 2012
Winners and entries from Sense’s creative writing competition

Express Yourself 2012!
Sense’s Express Yourself 2012 creative writing competition produced some wonderful pieces of literature. There were five different categories for the awards and these were:
•	Best piece of writing by a deafblind child or young person
•	Best piece of writing by a deafblind adult
•	Best piece of writing by a family member or carer
•	Best piece of writing by a young sibling of a deafblind person
•	Best piece of writing by a person associated with deafblindness

We received many high quality entries, including from Spain and Norway. This book includes all the entries that were sent in, some as excerpts. 
The judges certainly had a difficult job choosing the winners. After much deliberation, they chose the pieces on the grounds of their originality, impact and insight into deafblindness.
The judges were:
•	Angela Perrow – the mother of three children and has Usher syndrome. She recently set up a self-help group and organised a holiday for people with acquired deafblindness. 
•	Flo Nheru – the mother of two children, including Jessica who has CHARGE syndrome. She and her partner Simon are very active in the CHARGE Family Support Group.
•	Debbie Attewell – the Editor of Candis magazine. Candis is a magazine and club which focuses on the family. It is a generous supporter of Sense, including donating £5,000 to the Creative Writing Awards which will be used in different projects around England.    
The award ceremony took place on 17 April at the Geffrye Museum in London with actress Rebecca Front presenting the awards. 

Best piece by a deafblind child or young person

Winners
Rhys Fullick and Jake Petherick  

THE STORY OF LONGEE 
The sun was rising over North Korea, its rays shone down over the streets of Hamhung. Longee Ozoh woke up he stretched and then got about of bed. He walked out into his parent’s room; his parents were looking through a long book. Eight year old Ying Ozoh was sitting on his parent’s bed with them. Longee and his parents were sighted but Ying was blind. Longee took a look at the book his parents were reading. A lot of the writing was in English that Longee could not read but he spotted a few Korean words and sentences, they were talking about England. Longee was 13 years old so he could read Korean quite well, but he couldn’t read in English. 
Ying was fiddling with the edge of the duvet, what are you reading about mummy said Ying, just some stuff about England explained Ying’s mother. What is it said Longee?  We are going to have to go to England for our work said their father, but we can only afford for two people to go on the aeroplane. So you and Ying are going to stay here said Yings mother. We have got in touch with a nice babysitter called Chung-Hoo. Chung-Hoo repeated Ying. We are meeting him at the airport tomorrow said Ying’s father. The next day the family were in the car going to the airport to meet Chung-Hoo. At the airport they met Chung-Hoo “he looks very ugly” said Longee. “Now now” said his mother, “it is not very nice to say that” said his father. As a terrible man came wearing a very small blazer with very small school trousers. Meanwhile Ying was crying and clinging on to his mother, “no no I don’t want him he looks pretty strange” said Longee. Goodbye children said Longees mother, behave yourselves wont you. Yes I will mummy said Ying. The mother and father disappeared into the distance as the aircraft flew off to England. 
“Right! get in the car you nasty little beasts” said Chung-Hoo, “no I won’t you boring baby sitter” said Longee as he tried to push Chung-Hoo out of the way. Ying started to cry, “stop making that silly noise” said Chung-Hoo as he dragged the boys away to the car. They turned up at the house immediately after they got in Chung-Hoo said Bed now, Longee looked at his watch, but its only 6 o’clock I do not go to bed for another four hours. Ying said I go to bed at half past 8 and you can not send us to bed now, “bed now” said Chung-Hoo. But Chung-Hoo said Longee. No no no said Chung-Hoo you must go to bed now or I will sing you a lullaby that will make you have bad dreams. Do the la la la do the la la la do the la la la. Anyway we’re too old for lullabies. Sleep my baby don’t you cry, a fierce lion will destroy your mummy.
The next day the children woke up, if I see either of you get out of bed you will be beaten said Chung-Hoo. Longee woke up and put on the portable TV the news talked all about Korea and Longee was just about to switch it off when they mentioned an aeroplane crash. Longee recognised the aeroplane “the airplane has crashed and I can see our parents inside it” said Longee with horror. Ying and Longee began to cry. Suddenly there was a shout from downstairs Chung-Hoo burst in “goodbye” he shouted. “where are you going” shouted Ying. I have got my money from those parents of yours and now I’m off to spend it and I certainly am not going to baby-sit you lot, goodbye I’m off to Russia to spend my money shouted Chung-Hoo.
Something was lying on the sofa making a beeping sound, it was a bomb. Longee looked at the timing device the explosion would be in seconds. Longee grabbed Ying who had just gone to get his cane they slammed the door shut and ran down the street. The house was destroyed. They soon came upon an old house, they opened the door and found themselves in a long dusty hallway. I do not like this house, it’s creepy said Longee. Ying was not scared of course as he could not see the dusty furniture around them. Suddenly there came a banging from upstairs! Let’s go up there said Ying but it is scary said Longee, you’re meant to be my big brother said Ying you should not be scared. Ying found the stairs with his cane and began climbing them holding onto Longee’s arm. At the top of the stairs Ying knocked a book shelf that was so old it immediately fell apart and toppled down the stairs. The banging from the room was becoming louder and now they could hear cries for help. Longee turned the key in the lock and the door swung open. Inside were two children, they stepped forward, I can not believe that someone came here said one. Who are you? said Longee, Ying was still trying to take in what happened and of course he could not see the children. The children introduced themselves as Ji Ya and Ji Ven.
“Chung-Hoo was our baby sitter who was meant to look after us but he left us locked in this horrid room said Ji Ya. We tried to escape and get the plane our parents were on, they were going to England for their work. What are we waiting for lets go downstairs said Longee. They walked downstairs down the long hallway, Ying walked along by the wall no longer being guided but keeping close to Ji Ven. Suddenly a large floor board fell away beneath Ying, Ji Ven stepped aside but Ying fell into the darkness with a yell of surprise. They gathered round the hole then climbed down a long ladder down into the basement. 
The basement was filled top to bottom, shelf to shelf with old junk. They found some old cassettes and they went over to investigate them, “the wonders of rock through time, boring” they carried on looking. They found some old CDs on the top there was a strange box like CD case, Ying opened it too find a book and a CD “is this a story CD Longee?" asked Ying. No it clearly says an English audio guide. Wow said Ji Ya in amazement. They found an old CD player which was working, as Longee turned it on a terrible sound of rock music filled the house. “we don’t want to listen to that said Ji ven. No no no keep it on tape don’t turn it on to CD said Ying. It was too late Longee had taken the tape and started to pull the tape spool out of it. I know lets pull the spools out of all the tapes and make a tape made house. Don’t be stupid Ying you know we don’t wrench other peoples belongings said Longee. Well you pulled the tape out of that tape said Ying. Look stop wasting time arguing we have got work to do said Ji Ven. The put on the CD and learnt the English on it they soon became very good at it. Ying pushed aside a large cupboard to reveal a large opening beyond, it led to another basement, inside was huge half built aeroplane, the other parts of it lay on the ground nearby. We could rebuild this thin said Ji Ven, my Dad is and aeroplane designer, wow! said Longee, and continued Ji Ven. They spent hours building the aeroplane, after 15 hours they were all very exhausted and Ji Ya had fallen fast asleep on the basement floor even though the floor was cold and hard. The aeroplane was now complete, it could have looked a bit better, part of the nose had a giant scratch in it.
They all climbed into the aeroplane and gazed at what they had made, Ji Ya was asleep again. Ji Ya woke up just as the engine started, Ying clung to Longee with fright as the aeroplane moved forward. No stop I want those rock tapes and CD’s shouted Ying, but it was too late, with a terrible crunch the cassettes and CD’s were destroyed. Ji Ven pressed a button and the wheels retracted the aeroplane flew in the sky, around and around out of control. All the children fastened themselves into safety belts and the plane spun away over North Korea……

Best piece by a deafblind Adult 

Winner

Helene Ryles

glad to be me 

glad to live as i
with all i can do
glad when i am not in pain
or in the blue glad that i can read in braille
internet friends and exciting tales
inspiring and comforting dots
help me through the bleakest spots

glad for my sense of touch
beautiful shapes at my fingertips mean so much
with a red and white cane i can roam
feeling for familiar landmarks to help me get home
glad of a loving abraise tongue
of jilli my furry companion i have known so long
from my guide dog i will not willingly part
as she is so dear to my heart
glad for many fingerspelling hands
friends who communicate with me to make fresh plans.
glad for vegan meals, fast rides and challenging climbs,
and other such activities that help me through hard times
glad of comforting dreams
vegan lovers and ever lasting teams,
to be accepted as me
not  to conform i want to be free

to become a published writer
human and animal rights fighter
journeys to India Ireland and USA 
maybe to visit maybe to stay
when my ghosts have gone
life will be so much fun
i am glad to lead my life
deafblind and vegan for life

Runner up
Lando Hilton
To all the lovely people who still have their hearing and vision
This is addressed to you, but not because I feel bitter and want to give you a “YOU DON’T KNOW HOW EASY YOU HAVE IT!” tirade. Those kinds of speeches are best left to grumpy old men who, when they were your age, walked five miles to school, barefoot and over shrapnel. No, the purpose of my writing this is to help you understand me and others like me.
Maybe you can already put yourself in my position – to an extent. If I ask you to imagine being visually impaired and profoundly deaf (albeit with a cochlear implant which does imitate normal hearing rather well), you would probably imagine the most obvious consequences. The “big” things. Things like no, I’ll never be a jumbo jet pilot. No, I’ll never be a world-famous harpist. If you’re particularly good with empathy, you may also start to imagine the less obvious, subtle consequences of having these disabilities. For example, going clubbing is out of the question, what with the impenetrable darkness and the avalanche of background noise. Also on the list of impossibilities are driving a car (vision), following a conversation in a noisy restaurant (hearing) and enjoying a trip to the cinema (vision and hearing). 
But what about the “little things” in life – those trivial, everyday activities that most people take for granted? Can you imagine how hearing and vision (or lack thereof) affect someone on an ordinary day, from dawn til dusk? Maybe not. So I’ll tell you.
The alarm is set for 8 but I wake up a bit before then, which is good. It means that I don’t have my dreams rudely interrupted by the Shake-Awake, a vibrating alarm clock for the deaf. This small-but-deadly contraption, which surely has the power to shift tectonic plates, has been waking me up for years. I don’t have a conventional alarm clock because I take off my implant’s outer earpiece at night. Therefore, rather like certain orders of monks, I fall asleep to total silence and wake to total silence. 
I must say here that being oblivious to all sounds at night is not necessarily a bad thing. Sure, it means I wouldn’t hear a fire alarm. And yes, if my flat got burgled I would more likely sleep through it than be heroic with a rolling pin. However, my deafness also means that I can rest undisturbed by hooting owls, barking dogs, snoring people, howling werewolves or invading Martians. 
Peace, basically. 
Anyway. It is Wednesday and I must succumb to my two early-morning addictions: Coffee and Facebook. Once said caffeine and social network cravings have been satisfied, it will be time to get dressed and walk to the gym.
Walking outdoors is difficult for me. That’s not my legs; it’s my eyes. Ordinary features of the urban landscape can be dangerous obstacles. Lamp-posts, kerbs, crisp packets – these are things which, if I wasn’t so careful, would all be bumped into, tripped over, skidded on. I use my remaining vision as much as I can, straining my eyes. I walk slowly, as experience tells me that collisions are much more disastrous when one goes hurtling into an object at full speed than at snail pace. Some people will have learnt this from physics lessons; I learnt it from a skirmish with a traffic cone. 
Glare is a problem. One tiny ray of sunshine peeps through the clouds, and I am scrabbling for my sunglasses. I must be the only Briton who rejoices when it rains, and sulks when it’s sunny. On a bright day I wear sunglasses all the time except whilst walking under a shadow, because then it’s too dark. So I perch the sunglasses atop my head. Then before I know it I’m out of the shadow and it’s ARGHHHH toobrighttoobrighttoobright! So a walk in the park goes like this: Sunglasses on, sunglasses off. Sunglasses on, sunglasses off. Repeat. 
I could invest in a dark-tinted monocle and simply close one eye at a time depending on the surroundings. But I think monocles are best suited to the Edwardians and crazy inventors, so sunglasses it is. 
I continue walking, until I suddenly feel my shin come into contact with something solid and furry. I look down and see that I have just walked into a small dog. Where’s its owner? I look around to see a man holding a lead, about twenty feet away. Oh, so it’s one of those. Those people who believe that their dog is at the centre of the universe and thus walk said pint-sized pooch on a great long lead. The dog in question refuses to remove itself from my path, so I carefully circumnavigate it and carry on. I’m glad that the owner is not infatuated enough with his pet to give me a spiel about watching where I’m going, for I would then have to give him a spiel about restraining his beloved creature. Incidents like that do happen sometimes; I wish people would assume “eyesight problem”, not “carelessness”. 
On to the gym. I like gyms. I go a lot these days, now that my vision doesn’t allow me to run outdoors safely. I swapped outdoor running for the treadmill a year or two ago. While there are several strong advantages for treadmills, they aren’t half boring! My scenery is no longer fields and trees, but a wall. There is no noise. Just like when I go to bed, I have to take off the outer part of my implant for exercise too; it’s not waterproof and when drenched in sweat, it cuts out. I wish I could listen to my iPod whilst running, but I did that in the past and my implant would only last 20 minutes or so. It would beep at me twice in waterlogged protest, which I’d ignore. Then it would give me four contemptuous beeps to inform me that it was going on strike. Then it would switch itself off in its demise, leaving me in my own silent world. Nothing to listen to but my thoughts. Music was a means of escaping the monotony of exercise, something to focus on other than my aching muscles and pounding heart. Perhaps one day there will be waterproof cochlear implants. Until then, I have to keep myself entertained while I’m running. I play songs in my head. I do mathematical calculations. I attempt to recall what I’ve learnt at uni recently. Or I concentrate on the rhythm that I can feel my feet making on the treadmill. I close my eyes and daydream that I’m running along a beach. The gym ceiling fan becomes a cool ocean breeze. The sounds playing in my mind to fill the silence become those of waves crashing onto the shore, exotic birds calling, branches rustling in the wind. My views are no longer of a blank wall but a glorious sunlit horizon which doesn’t make me squint, doesn’t hurt my eyes. There is no tunnel vision; I can see everything that lies before me. I’m there, sprinting across the sands with boundless energy, and it’s there that for one precious moment I can forget who I am. 

Runner up
Zara-Jayne Arnold

I let you

I let you cry on me 
I let you walk away
I let you kill me softly
Through your sorrow and your pain

I let you walk all over me
I let you change my name
I let you control my answers
I let you use my brain

I went looking for a dream
For something to make me high
I went looking for answers
But found something deep inside

I found a voice to tell you no
I found a reason to tell you so
I found an energy to make me high
I found a motive to keep me alive

I found a distance so I will go far
I found my courage so you can back off
I found a fondness to give me strength
I found a need to get evidence


I’d like to say
I’d like to say I love you
But...
I’m just a kid
You were a person that gave us sweets
And other things
You took us to the park
And played with us till dark
Well until we went to sleep.
You’ll always be around 
And make a smile from a frown
Life was just a game
And we would play around
 
I’d like to say I love you
But...
I’m a teenager now
I have problems at school
And I don’t give a cow
I stay in my little world
Of magic and mysteries
I listen to my music
And I make up my own dreams
I make up family portraits
I make up fantasies
I make up secrets that are held
Between you and me
I’d never thought of growing old
I never thought of death
Cause between you and me
In this world we always lived
 
I’d like to say I love you
But...
You were fading away
You were concentrating on dying
And finding the peaceful place
You were waiting for your husband
To take you to your final home
You wanted to be out of pain
You wanted rid of creaking bones
I may of said I love you
Some point in the past
But at this point there a question I really must ask
Did you know I loved you?
Before you went to sleep
Because your memories will keep for ever
In a promise I will keep.

War: The Untold Story

Men were loaded on to trucks
Like cargo
It was time
No one could stop them
They couldn’t stop them
Eyes of a young girl meet his
A small smile as she salutes pastes his face
As she hurries to school
School
Oh how he wished
But no he had to go 
To the trenches!

An explosion makes them all turn their heads
A falling bomb made them bow and shut their eyes
Was it all lies or were they all indeed
Dead!

On the other hand
A girl waits with a suitcase,
But not an evacuee
A bride
About to commence on a journey
That would take her across the ocean to a land that we know as
America!
Where
Although she didn’t know this at the time,
She would live until her body dissolved into the ground
Where her ashes would reunite with
Her husband.
But not yet 
The story’s not over….

War: The Untold Story
Part 2

After living on oranges
Being seasick
Meeting her beloved
She is in her office when she meets
The painter!
Another man who was told he…
Well you know…
But he was different
Where other men were playing cards
He sat there and wrote to the loved ones he missed
His wife!
And years later she only wished that after the accident she had written to his wife to say
He really did love her
She didn’t have to sign it just say
He wasn’t happy without her

An explosion
Breaking glass
Him 
The painter
The one that never smiled

Runner up
Shane Roberts 
Chapter 3 of from his book ‘My Life’ 
Education
Well, let me start by saying I didn’t have a very nice experience while at school. Primary school wasn’t too bad, or the start of secondary school, but then all that changed.
I started off by going to Newbold C of E Primary School. This is a lovely small school set in the village of Newbold, when I lived all of my life till recently. This is a rather old school, but it was fantastic. It had 3 reasonably sized classrooms, an office space, a small hallway/entrance and a tiny little kitchen!  And it also had a corridor that leads down to the toilets/changing rooms, which all the classrooms led off. As well as this it also had a largish playground with a toilet block. The toilet block was out of order and locked while I was there as it was a very old and messy building!
My first teacher was Mrs Grimley and she was a fantastic teacher. As well as teaching year 1’s and 2’s, she was also a music teacher and loved playing the piano. I must say she was my favourite teacher of my entire school life. In her class was a play area set in the corner of the class, as well as the usual tables and chairs, etc. I can’t remember too much about my first few years at school other than I was made to wear an eye patch on my right eye at certain points in the day, to try and get my left eye to work. How stupid is that when all I can see is light and total blurriness!  It was the doctor at the eye clinic that made me wear these, so I did as I was told, didn’t do much good though!  I also sang in the school choir!  Towards the end of my 2nd year at school I got Diabetes Insipidus and Diabetes Mellitus, and also got hearing loss. I was diagnosed with Wolfram Syndrome shortly afterwards. I think it was around that time anyway, but not entirely sure as it was a long time ago and not got my own record of it.
My second teacher was Mrs May. She wasn’t as good as Mrs Grimley, but I managed to get through my 2nd and 3rd years!  I had a hard time though with getting the medical problems, and had multiple hypos and regular hospital/doctors’ visits. I can’t remember very much about these years either as it was too long ago!  I was still in the choir though I think!  I used to go swimming every week I think it was with the other students, which I really enjoyed. I think it was in my 3rd year at school or maybe I’m completely wrong, that the bullying started. A stupid idiot called Shaun Walker really bullied me, until my auntie came into the school and gave him a damn good talking to!  He didn’t do it again after that as she really warned him!
My last teacher at this school was Mr Dawson. I started using a radio aid around this time, or maybe it was before then, but I got on very well. He was a fantastic teacher and I got on very well with him. I loved maths, and he even sent my maths work into hospital when I had to go in, so I could do it. I was so determined to do well in maths!  We did silly things like blindfold each other for an activity, and we had to point to where the person talking was. This was hard as I had a radio aid on so they were always right in my ears!  I turned the damn thing off in the end and did it like everybody else, and I did very well!
I also did sports days and took part in activities at the school, but not sure what as it was so long ago!  I really enjoyed this school and they made me feel welcome. They gave me the best start to education that I could have wished for and I thank them for it.
Well that’s a rather short highlight of my education while at primary school, but it was years ago (or you could say donkeys years ago)!  Then again I did say I’ll only write about what I can remember!
After leaving Newbold C of E Primary School, I moved up to Ivanhoe College, which is in the town of Ashby-de-la-Zouch. In order to get there from where I lived, I had to travel by bus every day. This journey wasn’t too bad at the start of my time at Ivanhoe College, but later on towards the end of my time there that changed!
I was in a form of students, one of whom I knew. Our form tutor was Miss Lane, well I think that was her name, and we were based in a music room which was spread over multiple levels. Well it was a room where there were big steps, so we all had to sit on the floor!  I think that’s the way to describe it but then again maybe not!  It was a weird room if I say so myself!
I had somebody from Learning Support who was with me every lesson. Her name was Carole Hallam and she helped me follow the class and she wrote in my workbook, as I couldn’t see the whiteboard or read any worksheets that were passed around the class!  She also read any material to me. I got on very well with her and she was a pleasure to work with.
I can’t remember very much about being there but I do remember my French tutor, Miss Kingdom. She was a wonderful lady, and I loved playing Lotto during some lessons!  French was one of my favourite subjects along with Maths. I learnt a lot of French after knowing nothing at all!
Towards the start of being there I did sports outdoor, but as I gradually lost my sight I struggled to see, so couldn’t do them anymore. I did carry on doing indoor sport though, but eventually had to stop doing them due to my sight loss. I ended up belting somebody round the head from my form during a tennis or badminton lesson and got in trouble for it!  She ran right behind me while I was playing, how god damn stupid is that!  Think that taught her a big lesson, and gave her a bad head for a while!  She didn’t talk to me after that day, even though it wasn’t my fault!  I didn’t play sport again after then as it was too much of a risk and nobody understood about sight loss, well not enough to tell students!
I think it was during my last year there that the bullying on the school bus began. People tried to bully me from the start but my friend who lived near me and his friend stuck up for me and told them to back off and leave me alone. They were the oldest on the bus so nobody dared to ignore them!  They were Simon Kennison and Gary Shaw. But as soon as they left school it all went downhill and the bullying began big time.
I was on a double decker and started off upstairs but got bullied up there and went downstairs. I got bullied downstairs, so had to go back upstairs!  The bullying didn’t stop and I decided to stay upstairs!  I reported it to the head teacher but nobody did anything about it. I got things thrown at me, pushed and hit; it was horrible and made me feel ill. And it was all because I wore glasses at the time and also wore hearing aids. The whole bus was pure evil and I hated the lot of them. I tried sticking up for myself but it made matters worse so gave up.
That’s all I can remember about my time at Ivanhoe College, so let me move on to my 3rd and final school.
Finally I went to Ashby Grammar School, as it was known back then. This was a large school set over a large area. There were two campuses as you could call it, well there was a couple of roads to cross to get to other classrooms.
I was in a form that was tutored by a history teacher, I think his name was Mr Hicks but I’m not entirely sure. I had a friend in this form, who was in my form at my previous school. Well I thought she was my friend but didn’t see much of her other than during form time in the morning for registration!
I had a fantastic French and Maths teacher there and got on very well. I also did cookery, geography, triple science and a few other subjects. I did physical education. I started by doing multiple sports but couldn’t cope so did what I could do best, which was swimming. I did this every week and I loved it!
I did very well in maths and French and felt at home during these lessons. I can’t remember the tutors names but they were the best!
I also used to read a lot at my previous school and I spent time as a librarian during lunchtime, but I forgot to mention about that!  I carried on reading at this school and got certificates for reading so many books!  I read a short book every night or sometimes if it was a bit longer every two nights and I loved it. I also loved cookery, but nowhere near as much as I liked maths and French.
I carried on being bullied during school and while on the bus, and even though I reported it time after time again nothing got done about it!
I used to spend my time in the toilet during break time to avoid being bullied, but people kept kicking the toilet door down while I was in there, so couldn’t avoid anything. Couldn’t even use the toilet in peace!
When it came to doing my GCSE’s I struggled as the bullying was ruining my life and made me feel so ill. I couldn’t revise as I couldn’t concentrate with all the stress, but did manage to revise for my French.
Despite not revising I did well in my maths and French, and got a C grade. Other than that I got D’s but for what I was going through that is brilliant.
Towards the end of my time at school I got told about a College for the Blind in Loughborough called the RNIB College, and this is where I ended up after that. But before going there I got set on fire on the bus, well my coat did by some stupid cow (excuse my French) called Catherine Archer. It was an expensive coat given to me by a dear friend, and I regretted wearing it for school after that day, as it burnt a big black hole in it. Luckily she rubbed it and put it out after lighting it, but she didn’t apologise and the head master didn’t do anything about it other than report her to her school and they only took her lighter off her!  People used to smoke upstairs on the bus as well as bully me, which was disgusting. I was glad to finish school, and it couldn’t have ended quickly enough!
Well that’s a short bit about my school life, so now I’ll say a bit about my life after school, well college. But before I do that I’ll nip and have a nice bath and get a cuppa tea!
So let’s now move on to my education after school. I went to RNIB College Loughborough as resident, but studied at Loughborough College. I received support from the RNIB and lived in halls. I got money towards my lunches, like every other student. I had my own phone in my bedroom, which I had to pay for myself. Each month I and other residents had to go and pay their phone bills.
I met lots of lovely people while at the RNIB, including Daniel Lowe, Naqish Ghulam, Amy Dann, and Andy Burnham. I stay in contact with these still as I got on well with them all.
Each room consisted of a single bed, desk, bedside cabinet, massive wardrobe and en-suite bath/shower room. The rooms were rather big and I loved it!  Each flat consisted of 6 rooms and a shared kitchen.
I started off by studying for a GNVQ Intermediate in ICT at Loughborough College, which went well. I always remember one of my tutors, and his name is David Pautsch. He was a right joker and still is, and he loves Leicester City Football Club!  At the time I liked Manchester United, which didn’t go down too well!  I learnt a lot from the course and finally got a Merit, after hours and hours of very hard work. I learnt software programming, web design, networking, and many other subjects.
After doing so well on this course, which lasted a year, I went on to study for a BTEC National Diploma in IT. This was very hard, but I gave it everything and after hours and hours of hard work I got a PPP (pass, pass, pass). I would have done better but my Great Nana died towards the end of this course and it sent me over the edge. With a lot of help from my friends and tutor, I finally got through it and just passed the course.
I really liked web design and software development during my 3 years at the college, so wanted to do them as a career.
I also went from being catered to being self-catering, so cooked for myself. This was a good thing and I learnt how to cook, as well as learnt how not to burn foods!  I had cooking lessons in a group, so that really helped with this.
Every year there was a holiday to a Vision Hotel in Windermere which was organised by the RNIB. I went on this every year and because we went as a big group, we got a reduced rate at the hotel. The RNIB provided transport and we all had a fantastic time while there each year.
As the RNIB College was for blind and disabled people, I didn’t get bullied unlike at school, and it was a much better experience.
I forgot to mention that our learning support was based in a room at Loughborough College called A109. This was also our resource base, where we stored all of our notes and everything was transcribed. Every student studying there from the RNIB had their own pigeon holes.
That sums up my time at the RNIB. It might be short, but it went so quickly that I can’t remember everything!
From the RNIB, I went to Derby University to study for a BA in American Studies. This didn’t last for too long though as all the equipment I needed to study didn’t arrive till late October, so I couldn’t even make a start on any work. And when it did arrive I got too stressed with trying to catch up with it all. I stayed in halls, and started getting very isolated from other students. I eventually gave up and quit in February, just 5 months after starting. I only went to study this course as I wanted to visit America, and you got to study in America for a year!
I then went on to study for a HNC in Computing (Software Development) at my local college in Coalville. This was a newly built college and it was state of the art. It’s called Stephenson College. The IT facilities weren’t state of the art though, that’s for sure!
I really enjoyed studying this course, and the tutor really helped me when I needed help. This course lasted 2 years and I did very well. I mainly got distinctions and merits so almost top notch!
After completing the HNC, I did a HND conversion. This didn’t take too long and I did very well in this. I did this while I was finishing my HNC. I really enjoyed doing web design on this course and I’ve decided I want to do this as a career. I used to enjoy software programming but changed my mind while doing this course as it is too complicated.
I think that sums up my education from start to finish. I might do more education in my lifetime but who knows!

Other entries

Jessica Cook

A touch 

A girl and a young woman met. 

The young woman was visiting the girl’s country during a volunteer programme and the girl had taken an instant shine to her. The girl displayed vast amounts of affection - she wanted to hold the young woman’s hand, to play with her fingers as if she was her mother, and to hug her arm as if she was an astronaut leaving on a space mission that wouldn’t return for years. The girl played with the young woman’s necklace, examining and admiring its many pretty pendants. Initially, the young woman wondered whether she should give the girl her necklace as she appeared to love it so, but how could she when it was so sentimental to her? The necklace had been given to the young woman as a gift from her best friend for her twentieth birthday and she had worn it most days since. It had travelled thousands of miles on a journey of self-discovery hanging elegantly around her neck. The necklace hosted a collection of pendants including a feather, a coin, a butterfly, and various beads, each of which had become symbolic to the young woman about the places she had seen, the challenges she overcame, and the people she had met along the way, which ultimately led her to be in this place.

The girl made a second examination of the young woman’s necklace, this time more closely and even more lovingly. Without hesitation the young woman unfastened the necklace from her neck and fastened it loosely around the girl’s. The expression on the girl’s face was priceless, although the young woman did not get to see it before the girl flung her arms around her with ecstatic delight and gratitude. It is uncertain whether they will meet again, but the young woman hopes that the girl will always remember her through the gift of her necklace. She hopes that the necklace represents strength to the girl so that in times of self-doubt she has the inspiration to embark on her own journey of self-discovery just as she had done herself. The girl could not say thank you for the gift and the young woman could not explain her gift to the girl. Not only did they speak in different languages, but the girl and the young woman both live with dual sensory impairments. Because of their circumstances they could not communicate, but they did not need to. They just stood there, holding hands. Everything was right there in a connection far greater than that of sound or sight, a connection that speaks a thousand words of understanding, compassion, and love: a touch


Emma Hand 
One Of A Kind
Over the years for me it’s been hard,
Knowing that every noise I hear,
One day I will wake up, that noise will have gone, disappeared.
For now I am blessed with the sound of music,
The conversations with my son,
Yet I live in fear, this is all going to change, who will I become?
I’m scared of the silence,
It’s all going to be surreal,
Will I still be the person I am, how am I going to feel?
Every given day I am grateful,
For the beautiful gift of sound,
Oblivious to my inner pain, I have learnt to smile not frown!!

A room full of people conversating,
Chitter Chatter galore,
Understanding what it is you are saying, my ears they become sore!
I feel left out I want to join in,
Laugh with you on the joke,
Yet upon asking you to repeat it, you seem a little provoked?
I don’t understand, I am insulted my friend,
Would it hurt you to have the time?
You’re arrogance concerns me, why when we are all one of a kind!!
Yes I know that I am different,
Not how you perceived me to be,
Over time I have learnt, that’s the whole point of life’s reality.

Ever since I was a young girl,
I always used to question why?
I prayed that I could be “normal”, I knew deep down I was living a lie!
Simple everyday routines,
Like waking up with my alarm,
Will irritate, frustrate me, I have to carry on and stay calm!
My world is slowly changing,
Over which I have no control,
I have to stop fighting myself, stand tall and be bold!
Even though this new life awaits,
I will still no doubt be me,
As every door that closes, I’ve learnt, opens new doors of possibilities!!

Margaret Taylor
In the night
In the night, while I slept
Like a coward behind me crept.
Silently – without warning, 
When I awakened in the morning,
Stolen – my independence,
Taken – all my confidence
What is this “clot” of which I’m fearing,
Just came and thieved my precious hearing.

Samuel Small
Samuel Small, to no avail
Climbed the garden wall,
A crafty old crow thought “my dinner oh oh”
And ate him – shell and all; 
A bad night crow spent
To the doctors he went
Who gave him some sound advice
“It’s always the best if you take off their vest,
You’ll find they taste twice as nice.

Colin Bennett

Excerpts from his piece – 

“Turkish Delights”

Turkey is playing an increasingly important role in the world and I take an interest in it, as I do with all countries. It is more than 40 years since I have visited Turkey but I have some memories of exciting events that happened to me all those years ago. Here are some of them.

1. Only Half a Man

I had been sitting in the Orient Express (a misnomer on that occasion) and at last we pulled into Istanbul. The most interesting event on board had been the panic in the eyes of an American woman in the same carriage. We were travelling through Bulgaria and we were approaching a little salient of Greece into Bulgaria. The railway line crosses this little spit i.e. it goes from Bulgaria into Greece and then back into Bulgaria. The woman was terrified because she had been told that Greece was communist and she was worried something would happen to her during those few kilometres in that country. I explained that she had things a little wrong: we were travelling in Bulgaria, a communist country, and would spend a little time travelling across Greece which was a NATO member. She didn't believe me but that's understandable because from an American perspective all these countries are rather small and you can't be expected to know their politics!

Anyway, at the border the Greek immigration people came into the carriage and asked to see the American woman's passport. She handed it to them, quaking. They looked at it, smiled at her, clicked their heels and were gone. A few kilometres later the Bulgarian immigration people got on and they asked the same question and she complied with a big smile. They said "Welcome to Bulgaria", smiled and gave the passport back. The woman was so relieved… she looked out of the window at the Bulgarian farmers and said "You can see they're free; how happy they are compared to those in communist Greece!" I didn't say any more but perhaps somewhere in Indiana there's an elderly lady telling her grandchildren of her terrifying half-hour in 1960s communist Greece.

After our arrival in Istanbul, it was four hours before I could leave the platform. This was because the train was full of Turkish “gastarbeiter” who had been working in Western Germany and who had come home laden with mounds of luggage which all had to be checked.

It was 2a.m. I was very tired and had no choice but to take a taxi and ask to be taken to a cheap hotel. I found one, had a word with the manager, established the price for the night and tumbled into bed.

When I awoke the sun was streaming in and I went down for some breakfast. When I was about to leave I was handed the bill and it was double what I had agreed! I protested and in his very limited English the manager explained that it was double because it was for me and for my woman. I explained that I didn't have a woman. He said "I know; that's why we provided one". I argued that no woman had come into my room and I hadn't asked for one. In those days most Turkish women were Rubenesque (no so much nowadays) and you would certainly notice one in your bed! I knew that if he wanted to he could summon up half a dozen women who would swear that they had spent a tumultuous night with me. 
The only way to get out of the situation was to use a little tact and humour – not to be confrontational.

I explained that Englishmen were so pathetic that they couldn't do justice to a magnificent Turkish woman. At that time everyone in Europe was talking about the Profumo Scandal in the UK and Christine Keeler’s name was everywhere (Ask your grandparents about this). I said it was well known that Englishmen were generally strangers to sex and he agreed. The outcome was that since I was so undersexed it was only fair to charge me for half a woman - which is what happened. So, I got away quite lightly.

If you ever stay in an Istanbul brothel, which is what it was although I didn't know at the beginning, and you see preferential rates for Englishmen, you'll know the reason why.….

6. Turkey or Switzerland?

I was sitting in a waterside restaurant in Mersin enjoying the Turkish cuisine which I like very much. Grilled fish, goats cheese,  olives, aubergines, lettuce, onions, tomatoes,  rice, raisins, dates, figs, wonderful bread, rum baba, sticky pastries, strong red wine, cold clear water, thick strong coffee, sharp-tasting endless glasses of tea and the occasional raki. Have you got the picture? Yum yum! 

I was the only Westerner there and I thought "What a wonderful place to spend a holiday instead of, say, Brighton or Spain". Little did I know that Turkey would become a major tourist destination. I took one of those famous or infamous Turkish buses that have got all manner of mascots etc. hanging from the windscreen and painted in very gaudy colours driven at reckless speeds. The luggage forms a mountain on top of the bus and the inside is crammed with many people and some animals. Turks speak loudly (which is very helpful for me!) and drivers like to honk so you are always aware when there is a Turkish bus around.

We set off for Ankara, the capital, about 500km inland. We drove upwards and the scenery was spectacular. Beautiful forests, mountains, streams and meadows all in crisp, clean air, and attractive villages. You could have been in Switzerland. I know many people imagine Turkey as being hot and dusty, even barren, but, believe me, central Turkey is very Swiss. 
Turkey could be a very rich agricultural country again (as Asia Minor and Anatolia it did of course supply the Greek and Roman Empires with food). The problem is that it doesn't have enough rain.

Best piece by a family member or carer 

Winner

Jane Ring, mother of a deafblind girl called Chloe 

Letter to Myself

Our New House
January 2012
Your Future
Dear Jane,
Today, Friday 13th June 2008, is a momentous day for you. Today you are going to give birth to your first child. Do you know what? You will astonish everybody. The labour will be quick and painful but you will manage without pain relief, not even Paracetamol. The real gut wrenching agony will come later. She is so beautiful, your baby girl. You have wanted to become a mum for ages and it feels incredible. You don’t sleep the first night because you can’t stop staring at her. Please make sure you enjoy this precious time, the first few weeks in your happy bubble with Neil and Chloe. This is the time with your family that you will never get back.
I am writing this letter to help you prepare for what is to come. Things are going to get a little hairy for a while. I can’t sugar-coat it or change history because then we would be without Chloe. I am afraid you only have fifteen tired and blissful days together as a normal family before the first official hospital appointment. The one that diagnoses that your baby is profoundly deaf. She can’t hear anything apart from perhaps the sound of a really noisy lorry or a samba band. This is hard news to receive and fully understand but you will, and do, bear it. The days that follow are hazy, full of shock and sadness. Your home will begin to fill with professionals trying to help. Your Mum calls them life rafts. There will be good days and bad. You will cry a vast amount of tears and ask the great unknown, WHY? You hold on with your fingertips and slowly let go as you come to terms with what this could mean for your baby’s future. She is not even two months old yet. Everybody else’s baby is fine, your baby is deaf. It will be alright. ..... and then it is not.
Don’t blame yourself for not noticing, or hate your GP for pointing out that there might be an issue with her eyes. Chloe doesn’t fix or follow anything. She responds to you but never looks, not properly. You will become frantic while you wait for the appointment at the eye clinic. You will ask everyone who is in the same room as you and your baby, “Is she looking at that? Do you think she is seeing it?” She really isn’t and that is your eternal sadness. 
When you get to the horror of the eye clinic, with your husband at your side, please look after yourself. It is the place of nightmares, particularly the first time. You wait for hours while your precious baby (still only three months old) shows just how much she can’t see. You will her to turn her head towards the light or react to pictures placed in front of her. There is no response. Later you will enter the registrar’s room and he will quietly tell you that your daughter has very poor vision. Those words place a bomb firmly in your life. Your baby can’t hear; she has to be able to see. It’s too much for your brain to comprehend. Six weeks later you will be back in your most hated place and the consultant will register Chloe blind. That day you will sob in your mother’s arms before phoning the charity Sense. 
The first year is really tough. You have to come to terms with your own terror of hospitals and doctors for the sake of your child. You do really well, Jane, you put Chloe first all the time. Endless tests and investigations need to be carried out and you will meet countless professionals who are interested in your beloved little girl. You get to know many different departments in the local hospital connected to her eye sight and hearing loss and there are four national hospitals you also visit. The memory of those distressing appointments and all the invasive tests on your baby does fade, like the memory of childbirth, but you can never forget.
No one has any answers, particularly the geneticists. In time, on the surface, you will stop wanting to know why this has happened to your child but it never really goes away. No one has seen a child like Chloe before; she doesn’t have a syndrome or a known condition. You have an amazing human, sympathetic paediatrician whose own daughter was born deaf. She coordinates the investigations and tries to help you make sense of something no one understands. The top geneticist can only say that there is a high chance (one in two or one in four) that it will happen again. Your unique combination of genes with Neil’s creates your baby’s hearing and vision loss. It still breaks your heart but you will learn to deal with it. Chloe is so totally amazing that you stop thinking about what she can’t do and hold on to all the positives. She brings light and love into the world and that is a result of your combined genes too. Someone will tell you that everyone needs a Chloe in their life. You made her Jane and she certainly is determined, just like her Mum and Dad.
I have so much good news to tell you. The next few years are full of colour and vibrancy as your baby grows and responds to her world. She is so curious; touching and tasting, feeling and cuddling in her own inimitable way. She is happy from the start, your sunshine girl. She has an infectious spirit and enthusiasm for all that life has to offer despite her dual sensory loss. You will know this as you watch her lie on her back, gurgle with delight and flap her arms in excitement. This is a distinctive trait she hasn’t grown out of. Enjoy this precious time with her. Capture the many delightful moments and keep them safely in your heart. They will help with the hard times.
My most wonderful, joyous news is that Chloe is given hearing. All your fears of her growing up in a silent world disappear once you go ahead with bilateral cochlear implants. It isn’t an easy decision because there are no guarantees and she seems to respond to sound with her hearing aids on. She also seems so young and fragile when they want to operate, only just past her first birthday. As a family you have already been through so much and you will feel pulled in all directions. Further testing of Chloe’s hearing will show however that she will never hear speech or be able to speak herself without implants. That makes the decision more straightforward; you want to give Chloe the best possible chance of oral communication, particularly as she can’t see enough to understand and interpret British Sign Language. The night before surgery you are awake next to Chloe in the hospital room listening to the sounds of all the distressed babies. You feel very alone and terrified but I want you to know it will be worth it. It is the best decision you and Neil ever made. Please trust yourself more Jane, you are a good mum and you and Neil make the right choices for Chloe.
I can’t wait for you to meet her as she is now. All the fighting, all the times you have to face the unknown head-on are worth it. Be prepared to put on a suit of armour because you will need it as you go into battle for your child. The idea that a congenitally deafblind child will learn to read and write, speak and understand English is unheard of but Chloe will, you know it in your bones. Braille will be her way of reading and writing and she is already doing pre -Braille skills. Her spoken language is something else thanks to the cochlear implants. From the moment she is switched on she responds to sound really quickly and everyone is taken aback at how soon she makes sense of what she hears. Six months after she is given access to sound you will hear her first words. They are just for you, your reward for staying strong. You are changing her one day after Christmas and she is gurgling up at you, smiling at your face when she says, “Mama”. From that day onward her vocabulary grows and grows. She catches up with her peer group and it is so incredible to listen to her chattering away. She comes out with the most extraordinary words and phrases. 
Trust in yourself, Jane, because as tough and bleak as things will seem at times over the next three and a half years you never give up. Keep fighting Chloe’s corner because in the end you will be heard. I am afraid you will need to explain many times the difficulty of having a child born with a hearing and vision loss and how overwhelming it can be. As wonderful as the input from professionals is they don’t always have the answers. The teachers and support workers from the Visually Impaired Service are not used to working closely with the teachers and support workers from the Hearing Impaired Service. People have high expectations of your little girl but have not had to put a package together before for a bright deafblind infant who is expected to go into mainstream education. You will be asked to retain and implement a lot of information, targets and suggestions and find a way through that makes sense for you and your family. Everyone has to reinvent the wheel for Chloe and you are the one trying to coordinate between services and reminding them it has to work differently for her. 
This year Chloe will turn four and she certainly is a credit to you and Neil and all the input she has received since she was tiny. She has had a specialist team of one to one support workers since she was eighteen months old and they have helped to open the world up for her. It is good to remember you are not alone in this journey with your lovely girl. You will find strong, meaningful friendships with other mothers and families whose children are born different; they understand the path you are on. 
I am so proud of our precious daughter and marvel every day at how she manages with her extremely limited vision and cochlear implants. Her delight at the world is contagious and she has formed some good friends at Nursery and pre -school. This is reassuring; one of your biggest concerns is that she won’t be accepted. Chloe is sweet and sociable, cheeky, funny and very loving. She experiences things differently from her friends but that doesn’t stop her joining in. She was even the lead in the Christmas show last month. It was heart warming and emotional watching Chloe as ‘Whoops -a- Daisy Angel’. She managed to listen, follow direction, move confidently around the stage and even improvise. On her first performance she drew back the curtain and said, “Here I am.” It was the perfect gift to receive just before Christmas.
Jane,  there is so much I could share to try and lighten the load but you are just going to have to experience the roller-coaster ride for yourself. My advice is to take every day as it comes. The joy, love and utter happiness Chloe brings you are worth every stab in the gut, every sleepless night, every bit of fear and uncertainty. I still look at our daughter with the same awe as when I first held her in my arms. Though she has been born with no hearing and very limited sight I am convinced Chloe can rule the world - we just have to give her the right support and opportunities. 
Have courage, you are far stronger than you think.
This comes with my care and protection,
Love Jane  


Runner up
Debbie Assad, mother of a young woman with CHARGE

Can I help you?
It wasn’t the middle aged lady tutting, or the two teenagers sitting on the beach giggling at us that made me cry. It was the kindness of the elderly man with the soothing voice that had started me off. Poor man, at first he couldn’t understand a word I said, my voice must have been incoherent through the tears.
The funny thing is I don’t often cry even in the most emotionally challenging circumstances, I somehow manage to keep myself together; my personal motto is keep calm and carry on. I had been absolutely fine until the kindly man had uttered those four little words: “can I help you?”
My daughter Ellie has a wicked sense of humour. She has a long memory and is the most stubborn person I have ever met, which I must say has stood her in good stead over these last 19 years. She was born with CHARGE syndrome, which as well as being deafblind meant serious health problems that in the early days needed a lot of medical intervention.
I don’t like the term ‘challenging behaviour’, which is often used to describe my daughter. I think it’s much better to turn that phrase upside down. I believe that if you try to put yourself in Ellie’s shoes and see the world from her point of view you will understand that Ellie is using her behaviour to try to communicate something which is very important to her. The challenge is for me and her carers to help her to try for a more positive and effective method to communicate her wants and needs.
Ellie is clever and has found very inventive ways to communicate. I have often wondered why she can’t help me out a bit more when I don’t get what she is trying to tell me. A good example of this was when Ellie put dry pasta in curry sauce I was cooking. It was her way of saying that she fancied pasta instead of curry. It would have made life much easier if she had signed pasta to begin with. After all she is good at using sign language and always knows what she wants and how to get it. She is in fact a great teacher; I have witnessed Ellie on many occasions trying to teach total strangers how to sign and communicate with her. She can recognise very quickly the people who for whatever reason do not want to interact with her, that’s when I know it’s time for me to step in quickly before she tries her trick of poking the poor unsuspecting person in the ribs, which in turn produces a very unexpected high pitched noise that Ellie can hear and particularly enjoys. She will then bend her whole body forward and howl with laughter.
As I looked down towards Ellie who was sitting in the middle of the promenade of the beach crying and kicking her legs out in the most unladylike fashion, I knew that I had to pull myself together fast as it wasn’t at all safe. Joggers, dogs, cyclists, children on skateboards and all other manner of fast objects were racing along the promenade at a very fast pace but I knew better not to try and force Ellie to move so I stood near to her and waited for the kind man to summon up help in the form of my husband who was sitting in our car in the nearby car park.
Before the man set off he observed that it looked like Ellie was trying to tell me something – could she be in pain he asked kindly. Yeah right I thought miserable to myself; this behaviour is all about not getting the right ice-cream. It’s a communication breakdown. At that very moment I was so fed up with duelling with Ellie’s behaviour that I wanted to run away and have a holiday just for me. How wonderful it would be to do something spontaneous like having a nice walk along the beach without having to think about anybody apart from me!
Ellie can’t have a holiday from her deafblindness. She faces the same challenges day in day out, as she tries so hard to make sense of the world around her. She never ever gives up. She really is a very special person. Stress is a major part of her life and as far as I can see it’s my job to try to make her life as stress-free as possible. Sometimes, like on this day I could really do with a bit of help myself. “Who is out there to help the carers?” I thought as I looked around me and saw all the other people enjoying the autumn sunshine with their families. I would love to have a normal mother-daughter relationship without having to deal with her complex communication system. These last 19 years have been a real learning curve. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world and you don’t get any training for it!
I’m never really sure if I’m doing the right thing. Sometimes – not very often - when Ellie is free from pain and is having a happy day she will kiss my hand as if to say “thanks mum, you did a good job today.”
All of a sudden a black cloud appeared and the heavens opened. Within minutes crowds of people were rushing past us and before long Ellie and I were the only two people left on the beach.
The rain changed Ellie’s mood completely. She lay her whole body on the cold ground, her face turned up toward the sky. She was smiling as the big fat raindrops fell onto her skin. Her arms and legs were outstretched and she had a look of total pleasure on her face. After a while she got up and ran so fast that I couldn’t keep up with her. It was lucky that in the distance I saw the familiar outline of my husband.
Later at home Ellie handed me her hot water bottle. This is a sure sign that she is in pain. The elderly man was right I thought to myself and I had misread her subtle signs completely because I so wanted to go for a walk and had to convince myself that she did too.
In a few years from now when Ellie finishes college I am very much hoping that she will be able to have a flat of her own and be with other young people her own age. I have spent the last 19 years fighting for the right education and care for my daughter that I haven’t really had a life of my own and I have often thought that Ellie couldn’t do without me but it suddenly dawned on me that I don’t know what I would do without Ellie.

Runner up
Svein Olav Kolset, father of Torgeir, a deafblind man with CHARGE who lives in Norway
Excerpts from his book
An Exceptional Fellow – a father’s story
(Excerpt one)

Torgeir was three months old by the time we were permitted to take him home from the hospital to our simple, ground floor apartment in the Grunerlokka district of Oslo. Two rooms and a kitchen, no bathroom, WC in the hallway. We bathed and washed Torgeir in the kitchen sink. He slept in a basket, either on the kitchen table or on the couch in the living room. The floors were not exactly overly warm during the winter in a poorly insulated apartment with ten foot ceilings.

He was frail, and he gurgled and coughed. He was unable to cough up everything that accumulated in his lungs. He vomited frequently. We noticed in particular the impairment on his right side while he was sleeping. We came to understand the meaning of the term `night shift’. I was a light sleeper and woke up all the time. We had a washing machine in the kitchen. It was put to the test.

But so were we. Students with nightshifts. The distant sounds of the city’s nightlife could be heard from the street. In the backyard, everything was silent.

But not in our home.
Some nights it never ended.
At the time, there was a bakery in the apartment next door.
I have lost count of how many nights I sat up awake.
The kneading machine started up at between three and four in the morning.
The night shifts were pure torture.
Sleep deprivation is in fact a well-known torture method.
Sometimes I did not know where I was or what I was doing.
And I could have injured the defenceless little body.

There were many dark nights filled with dark thoughts.
`What kind of life is this?
Will it go on like this forever? This will never work out.’

But one way or another it did just that.
It paid to have a body in good physical condition. 
A body that could tolerate some abuse.
Torgeir can be grateful for that.
But there was also a good deal of napping in the library.
Studying could have been more efficient.

Gradually, very gradually, things improved.
Torgeir eventually became a bit stronger.
All of the physical therapy also helped.
He kept down more of his food.

(Excerpt two)

It was a new victory the day Torgeir was able to come along to the indoor swimming pool. He became more secure in the water. He enjoyed himself in the pool. And he learned to swim in his own special way. His own, self-devised technique, which was impressive and effective. He was often more under the water than above. This was a source of great amusement for him. He liked being physically active. He still does, and swimming turned out to be the doorway to a new world. Even when he is in the shower before swimming, he is enthusiastic.

We all need to feel that we are champions. Regardless of whatever baggage we are carrying.

It was deeply moving.
To experience
His great pleasure when he developed self-confidence 
in the swimming pool.
Formerly withdrawn and self-mutilating
Now a boisterously jubilant swimmer
Talk about a change!
Talk about progress!


Best piece by a young sibling
Winner

Matthew Baines about his brother Mark who is deafblind

My Deafblind Brother

I love my brother called Mark,
He is always cheerful and happy.
Strangely he's a very good shot with a brick,
For someone who can't see very well.

I love my brother called Mark,
Because when he is sad,
I can always cheer him up,
And always make him smile.

I love my brother called Mark,
He keeps trying to walk over to me,
When he wants to have a hug,
Or to sleep cuddled up on the sofa.

I love my brother called Mark,
He smiles like a dolphin when I come near.
We both like playing with Lego bricks,
And we both like making music.

I love my brother called Mark,
He loves having a go at everything,
Rifle shooting, quad biking,
Rock climbing and swimming.

I love my brother called Mark,
I'm happy that he is here.
He is a great little guy,
And I will always love him.

Runner up
Louis Woodrow-Bennett , brother of Archie, who has CHARGE Syndrome.

Draco the Great
One sunny day Draco the Great was sitting in his den looking after his eggs when two knights came in. When they saw the dragon, Johnny (the first knight) slumped and said “I thought we were slaying the rats for the royal fair”. “Well, apparently not.” And they both ran towards the exit. Draco saw them and started running after them. The knights couldn’t find the exit, then they saw the exit, but it was on the other side of Draco the dragon. Then Johnny had an idea. He told Damium, and he started dancing. Draco got confused, and Johnny ran past him and shouted. Draco turned round and Damium ran past, and they both got out alive.
The very next day a Slayer called Sircy was sent to kill Draco. When she got there she unpacked her gear: she had brought her sword, her rope and her food. She entered the den, where she found Draco. She threw the rope around his legs, and he tripped over.
When Draco woke, he found Sircy standing on him with her sword held above her head. Just as she was about to plunge it into his chest, Draco said, “Wait, if you spare me, I will help you defeat the orcs”. Sircy said OK, but on one condition: he wouldn’t eat any of their troops. She took him back to the castle.
When they got back to the castle the king asked what the dragon was doing in his kingdom. Sircy said that he wanted to join them against the orcs. The orcs are basically trolls with giant horns. The king said there was a patrol of orcs in the forest. Sircy, Johnny, Damium and Draco set out to battle them. When they got there, the orcs instantly ran away at the first sight of Draco. “That was easy” said Draco, and they returned to the castle.
When they got back, the king said that one of their patrols had spotted an army of orcs on the other side of the river. The gang said they would do it tomorrow, and they all went to bed. In the morning they all had breakfast and then they went to defeat the orcs. When they got there, the orcs sprang out at first sight of the dragon and a few of them ran away. The orcs that were left went all out on Draco. Johnny tried to help him but one of the orcs knocked him out with his club and he was carried away with the other orcs. When he woke up he was in a cage. Heres came out of the shadows and said some magic mumbo jumbo and the cage lifted into the air and Heres chanted “Hello Johnny, Hello Johnny, Hello Johnny” and then walked away. 
Draco searched for hours trying to find the cave where Heres hid, and at last he found it, but the downside was that it was surrounded by thousands of orcs. Draco turned round and started to go back to the castle, but one orc saw him and shot him with a bow and arrow. The arrow went straight through his wing and Draco had to land. When he did, tons of orcs came at him. Draco threw flames and the orcs were burnt to a crisp. Draco melted the gate and went in. Heres saw him and shot Draco with lightning and he backed away. Draco shot him again and Draco tripped over. Heres grabbed his sword. Just as he was about to stab, Draco ate him and melted the door to Johnny’s cage. Johnny jumped out. Draco had defeated Heres and saved the day.
The End

Runner up
Ira Bornstein, age 11

My life with a special brother
Seven years ago, it was a snowy day in March 2004 and that’s the special day I received a very special gift. My gift was when my little brother was born and came in to my life. I was four years old then. My mum passed me my little brother; he was light as a feather and so soft, small and delicate. But when he was a couple months old we noticed something unusual, he wasn’t acting like other babies at his age. He didn’t look at us or turn to sounds. So we rush him to a doctor to find out what was wrong with him. They did tests after tests and all they could tell us is his head was smaller than it should be.
My precious little brother can’t crawl or walk but he rolls to get around. He loves to bounce around on his knees like Tigger the Tiger. He also loves to sit and rock back and forth like he is on a rocking chair.
Every day I wish I could play with him like most people play with their brothers and sisters or do things with him like scootering, playing football or running with him in the park. But the saddest thing is I know he will not going to be any of those activities with me.
He goes to school just like me but his school is different. It is a special school where he receives special care to meet his needs.  
After living with my deafblind brother for over seven years, to me he is just a normal child.
I love my little brother just the way he is and my love to him will never change. 

Any individual on the subject of deafblindness

Winner
By Mrs Sharon Maybury, Support Worker, Sense 
I am your Voice
I am your eyes,
I see the world that surrounds you, and the people it contains
I see the emotions that you evoke, and the reactions you demand
I see the challenges that you embrace, and the obstacles you defy
I see the intolerance of strangers, and the curiosity of children

I am your ears,
I hear the praise that comes with your successes
I hear the devotion in the voices of people that love you
I hear the concerns of those who safeguard you
I hear the comments of the ignorant and ill-informed

I am your voice,
I speak aloud your choices and decisions
I speak of aspiration and possibility
I speak of opportunity and progression
I speak your feelings, your anxieties, and your frustrations 

I am your guide
Your advocate
Your defence
Your support

Runner up
Rody White, written in memory of his friend Margerie Lynch

My Childhood Keller.


Deaf and Blind, forsaken by Gods
Outspoken and precognitive beating all odds
They’ll never tell me, no you can’t
I am the suffrage, the culture transplant

The scarlet fever came, the meningitis left
And I was left the aftermath of sensory theft
But illness will not stop me, doctors or my mum
You know what this sign means, I use it when you use dumb.

They all know what’s best but nobody ever asks me
I will never be invited home from the school for tea
But while you’re asleep and mumbling, I am writing this
And when you see it in my best works, your embarrassment will be my bliss.

But do not use bitter as my one credential
I just want the world to know, everyone has potential,
And if my words can give you this, then adversity I’ve beaten
The disabilities I have inside won’t rot but rather sweeten.




Runner up

Helen Luddington about her sister


A poem for Karen C.

Oh how I loved to ride my bike 
and build sandcastles on the beach. 
Dancing and singing, climbing and walking
and viewing the stars, so far out of reach.

Baking, cooking, music, 
listening to the radio and watching T.V.
So much homework, writing, reading to do,
my early years were so full and busy.

I looked to the future - what will I be?
a teacher, dancer, nurse or creative?
So many aspirations and exciting ideas,
big salary, car and nice house where I’ll live. 
                                ---     
Now I feel frustrated,
when I feel the cycles whizzing by,
Dancing, singing and climbing have all gone,
“My plans have all disappeared” I cry.

“What happened to all those lovely things
I loved to share and do?”
Such a sunny care free childhood,
but as an adult, it’s a grey hue.

I touch my son’s face to see how his adult life changes,
his freckles and curls I miss,
I feel the smile upon his lips
and the warmth of his kiss.
                                                ---
So much activity goes on around me
and I do my best to join in,
but my life is so different to everyone else
it’s hard to know where to begin.

The colour has gone from the beautiful flowers,
But the scent so vividly lingers,
I smell the trees and feel the breeze
And the rippling water running through my fingers.

Sunshine and wind feel good on my face,
I enjoy the taste of falling snow,
of rainwater hitting my umbrella
Outdoors – I love to go.

The warm sand feels good beneath my feet
and contrasts with the chill of the sea,
Others play on dingies and speed boats
but the seaside smells are good for me.

I love the taste of chocolate,
licking it melted from my fingers is a laugh,
so too are the gorgeous aromatherapy smells, 
that rise from my warm bath.

Everyday things you take for granted,
Enjoyment for me they give,
I have learned to use my senses in a different way
and this positive life I now live.

Touch me, so I know you are here,
Because now I can’t see and now I can’t hear,
I can smell you and I can feel you,
You are my friend, my family and I hold you so dea